Going Public
With Robin Jean
Using Discretion
So, you went out dressed as a girl for the very first time or perhaps your second or third time. You went to a local TG club meeting or gay bar or some other TG hangout. You may have even gone to the mall or a super market, walked down the street in broad daylight and you PASSED!
WOW! What a wonderful glorious feeling, you are walking on a cloud and never in your life have you felt so fantastic. This is such a natural, soul cleansing experience, how could anyone not understand why we do it. You want to shout from the roof tops, tell all your friends and neighbors, your children and relatives, tell them that you are a crossdresser, they will understand, how could anyone not understand and not accept you for doing what seems so very natural.
After all, you aren't hurting anyone, you aren't molesting children or committing lewd acts or infringing on others rights and privileges.
Your mate supports you so she must be as elated about all this as you are. Surly she wants to hear you go on and on for hours talking about what a good time you had, how the guys were hitting on you and all about your T-Girl friends and the pretty undies you just purchased etc., etc.. etc.…… WRONG!
We have made great strides toward acceptance in recent years, 40 years ago I was arrested for nothing more than wearing women's clothes on a public street. Today we can go or do anything that any other woman does. Last week lunch suddenly became interesting when two highway patrol officers sat down at the next table and greeted me with a warm smile. OK, they probably didn't read me but the fact that in this day and age we can appear in public without fear is absolutely divine.
Unfortunately we still have a ways to go and although society has generally taken a "To each his own" kind of attitude most people are reluctant to openly embrace alternative lifestyles. There are probably many that may be sympathetic to our cause but are not yet comfortable having their feeling known by others. We should be sensitive to their privacy the same as we would like others to be sensitive to our right to dress as we please.
Many part time cross dressers are desirous to share their secret with everyone they happen to know, many do. This can be a very serious mistake, we must be cautious not to inflect the pain and suffering that we have experienced for most of our lives on to our family and friends.
It is cruel to subject school age children to possible ridicule and mockery by their peers. In discussions on this subject I have heard responses similar to this from at least three different ladies, " My son is 6 foot and weighs 200 lbs, he can take care of himself". What a selfish irresponsible attitude! I find it absolutely abhorrent that anyone would subject ones own offspring to innuendoes and possible fights just to satisfy ones own ego.
Also, we need to minimize our babbling at home. Just because we are lucky enough to have an understanding, supportive mate does not mean that she is as enthusiastic about our fetish as we are. Just because we are enamored with our feminine image does not mean that she shares our desire to have all conversation revolve around our TG activities. We should not take her caring nature for granted, she married a man and needs the support of her man, we must not let her needs get lost in the mire of our own preoccupation.
It's important that we continue to promote social acceptance by appearing in public as dignified authentic looking ladies. However, as tempting as it may be to some, we should not expect family members to help bear the heavy cross that has burdened us for so long.
What about adult relatives and friends you might ask? Well, although they may tell you they don't mind what you do, behind your back who knows what they may say or think. One thing is certain, they will always see you as just old Joe whats-his-name wearing a dress and never think of you as a woman. Personally I am very discreet about my transgender life, only four people have seen both images. All four have confided that they do not see me as a woman when I am dressed, that I am still the same person to them. On the other hand friends, of which I have many have never seen my male image and tell me that they cannot imagine me being anything but a woman.
I guess it's all a matter of what is important to us. To me it's all about being a complete woman
Creating a separate identity for your feminine self can be very rewarding. My feminine personality is an individual, attached or connected to no one and among my friends and acquaintances completely free of any male stigma. I am completely independent, having my own ID card, my own credit cards, my own phone, address and even a Triple A auto club card.
When I travel, "HE" stays home. OK, so I have to carry "HIS" drivers' license, just in case.
So life isn't perfect!
Only those of us who have experienced the emotional trauma and loneliness in our youth, trying to sort out the confusion of our gender identity can fully understand our situation. We should think long and hard before subjecting our loved ones to OUR problem.
Life deals you a hand; YOU have to play it.
Robin Jean Peters
